To make or not, an apology, to receive or not

Whatever we have done, 

 it must have caused some effect on others.

Some may even be adverse impacts.

If we feel guilty or uncomfortable,

we may want to make an apology 

to the person being hurt.

To make an apology more effective

 to elicit forgiveness and
reconciliation, 

we should know what kind of 

inter-personal relationship with the person 

and the person's particular characteristics. 

Some professionals advise that if 

we don’t know
the person well enough to determine 

which type of apology to make, 

we can offer 

“detailed apologies with multiple
components” 

since some components out of all 
may rightly touch upon 

what is important to the person hurt. 

——
Chinese Translation

道歉與否，接受與否

無論我們做了什麼，
  它一定會對一些其他人產生一些影響，
甚至傷害。
如果我們對自己的所作所為感到內疚或不安，
我們可能想要對這些受傷的人道歉！

要道歉有效而能得到寬恕和諒解，
我們應該知道和受傷的人是怎麼樣的人，
及和他們有著怎麼樣的關係。

有些專家建議，

如果我們不熟識這些受傷的人，
不知怎樣向他們道歉，
我們可以提供
“多向度漁翁撒網式道歉”
因為道歉的某些內容，
可能會能令受傷人受落！

Adele - Hello

Hello, it's me, I was wondering

If after all these years you'd like to meet to go over everything

They say that time's supposed to heal, yeah

But I ain't done much healing 

Hello, can you hear me?

I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be

When we were younger and free

I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet 

There's such a difference between us

And a million miles 

Hello from the other side

I must've called a thousand times

To tell you I'm sorry, for everything that I've done

But when I call you never seem to be home 

Hello from the outside

At least I can say that I've tried

To tell you I'm sorry, for breaking your heart

But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore 

Hello, how are you?

It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry

I hope that you're well

Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened? 

It's no secret

That the both of us are running out of time 

So hello from the other side

I must've called a thousand times

To tell you I'm sorry, for everything that I've done

But when I call you never seem to be home 

Hello from the outside

At least I can say that I've tried

To tell you I'm sorry, for breaking your heart

But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore 

Ooh, anymore

Ooh, anymore

Ooh, anymore

Anymore... 

Hello from the other side

I must've called a thousand times

To tell you I'm sorry, for everything that I've done

But when I call you never seem to be home 

Hello from the outside

At least I can say that I've tried

To tell you I'm sorry, for breaking your heart

But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Respect for the Elderly

In any society nowadays, 

most people do not have much respect for the elderly.

 But there are still some people 

who do treat the elderly with respect.

 Some people respect the elderly out of their 

natural respect to seniority, priority or ranking.

But more of these people respect the elderly because 

they are convinced by

the advice, experience or assistance 

they receive from the elderly. 

Therefore, the elderly's own behaviour can 

help determine how far they are respected.

For example,

a senior intern can act to become a respectable intern if

he can act the role of an intern properly 

an elderly can act to become a respectable person if

he can act with his seniority（老而彌堅）, 

but not by his seniority (以老賣老）.

×　×　×

The Intern is a 2015 American comedy film

directed by Nancy Meyers.

The film stars Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway

in the two leading roles。

Anne Hathaway act as Jules Ostinis

who is the founder and CEO of About the Fit,

a fast-growing e-commerce fashion company.

Robert De Niro acts a Ben Whitaker

who is a widower and retired executive

at a phone directory company

who becomes a senior intern for Jules Ostinis.

In the film, you can see how Ben 

as a senior intern can act to become

a respectable intern as he can act the role of

an intern properly with his seniority.

But I think not many elderly can

act to become a respectable elderly

with his seniority as Ben Whitaker

who should be an exception in reality.

Intern- Trailer 

Slip of the Tongue for Love

Occasionally, we make slips of the tongue

by making mistakes in speaking.

The mistake may be

a wrong pronunciation of a word or

an improper use of a wrong word 

instead of the right one.

Such verbal slips may arise from some unconscious thoughts, thus revealing some unconscious belief, wish, or motive of the speaker.

Such verbal slips are known as

Freudian slips after Sigmund Freud.

So, when you want to say,

"I have tons of love for you,"

yet you say,

"I have none of love for you" instead!

This verbal slip may reveal that

your love for him/her is rapidly fading...

 ——————————————————————————

聽不到的說話 - Sukie S

 

 

An Exclusive List of Recorded Songs for You

Music recorded on cassette tapes began to

replace music on vinyl since the early 1970s 

as it was more affordable for general consumers.

Additionally, 

it was also more appealing because 

songs could be recorded on cassette tapes,

whereas this was not possible with vinyl.

How satisfying it was to record songs

on cassette tapes according to

your own preferences.

Surely, it was even more satisfying if

you could record songs on cassette tapes

according to your lover's preferences,

when your love affair first began.

* * *

They were also recalling their 

good old memories of 

recording messages of love 

on cassette tapes for their lovers.

Love in the centre of the world: 

世界の中心で、愛をさけぶ 

MV ～かたちあるもの～

Bitter Medicine Bonuses

I visited my family doctor.
The doctor checked my body and told me that
my blood pressure was a bit high.
So he prescribed
some blood pressure medicine
for me!

Three months later,
I visited my family doctor again.
He checked and confirmed that
my blood pressure was controlled and normal.
But I told the doctor that
the joints in my hands sometimes ached.
The doctor explained to me that
blood pressure medicine would
cause joint aching.
So he prescribed
some joint ache medicine
in addition to
some blood pressure medicine
for me this time!

Another three months later,
I visited my family doctor again.
He checked and confirmed that
my blood pressure was controlled and normal.
I told the doctor that
my hand's joints did not ache now, but instead,
my stomach sometimes ached.
The doctor told me that
the joint ache medicine could
cause a stomach ache.
So he prescribed
some stomach ache medicine,
in addition to
some joint ache medicine and
some blood pressure medicine
for me this time!



I only hope that such bitter medicine bonuses
will not be further added to me,
they will only agitate me and push my blood pressure
to go up much more!

_____________________________


 Daughter- Medicine

*

Compulsive Hoarding vs Hoarding Phobia (囤積症 vs 囤積恐懼症)

Some people have the urge of hoarding
some interested items,

such as books, toys, dolls, pets, etc.     

Among these people, 
some are with the very strong urge to 
collect large quantity of these interested items 
to an extent that normal people will not own the items 
in such an excessive quantity 
that are beyond 
their means to keep them or 
daily need to use them.

But what about if you have means to keep them, 
for example, 
if you have enough space at home, 
will you buy for your own use 1,000 pairs of shoes 
and keep them at home at the same time?
 
These people satisfy their psychological need 
by compulsive hoarding of many interested items 
but with a persistent reluctance of discarding or 
parting with their possessions.

 I don't know whether  
compulsive hoarding is a psychological disorder.  
However, I am sure it is a psychological disorder 
for me to have the hoarding phobia: 
I feel dreadful when having the idea of 
excessive quantity of an item 
just in mind, and worse feel frightened if at sight:
For example, 
one Hello Kitty doll is cute to me, 
the sight of hundreds of Hello Kitty dolls grouped together 
will however seem awkward and make me sick!

But I have one exception:  
The Hello Kitty doll can be substituted 
by everything 
except US Note!

Face's Face Value

Some say that the factors determining one's life

are in the following priority: 

First: Inborn Fate (Gene)

Second: Life Encounters

Third:  Feng Shui (Environment)

Fourth: Good Deed Performance 

Fifth: Studying

Inborn fate surely includes your inborn face!

With a good-looking face forming part of your good fate, 
your life and living are positively determined, 
even if you do not study hard to equip yourself with necessary knowledge/qualifications for work and living!
  
Without a good looking face, 
you need to struggle hard to 
pursue the second to fifth factors above 
to turn your life better on. 
Such hard struggle makes you
both physically and physiologically exhausted 
and give you an even worse look!

Yet, though a good looking face contributes 
much to your good life,
it is not quite necessary to get
a 120% extra-good looking face,
it will invite lots of jealousy and troubles
if you are too beautiful / handsome!

As you must have a good fate before 
you can have a good face, 
thus just a slightly good looking face is OK 
to help you well to survive. 

Chinese Version

一命

二運

三風水

四積陰德

五讀書

一命當然包括樣貌啦！

有個好樣，
已經大致決定了人生的走勢！
就算五讀書（唔讀書），
人生也未必不濟！

無個好樣，

就要努力做好二三四五項！
如此努力，好辛苦啫！
個樣捱得又殘多一點點呢！ 

不過，也不必１２０％超好樣，靚爆鏡！
因為會招惹很多妒忌的！

既然命中註定，
少少靚就夠！
 

Observable Aging vs Unobservable Aging

When we are getting old,

we are experiencing some changes in our own bodies.

Some are having swelling bellies
while some are having whitening hair.

Their aging is easily seen.

Some others are experiencing changes

that are not easily seen.

Some are having weakening bones; or

some are having joint-aching.

Their aging is not easily observable.

Observable aging is less harmful to health
yet it is psychologically more damaging!

Unobservable aging is more harmful to health
yet it is psychologically less damaging!

It seems that the God is very fair!
You need not own them all~
yet you cannot leave them all~

_______________

The Beatles - When I am Sixty-four

Life in Average

Every one can only lead one's life once.

So one can count what one has done

throughout one's whole life in total.

However, for statistical purpose for various uses,

one should count what one has done
throughout one's whole life in average.

For example, success or failure,

in whatever aspects,

with whatever means and ends, 

it is better measured in average of whole life.

With this perspective to live,

we should not become too happy
with some successes at certain points,

And we should not be too depressed when

with some failures at some other points.

Measured in average,

some success or failure may be 
deviated much from the average!

Don't take it too serious!

Count it in average, as it may be just
an isolated deviation from your average!

-----

James Morrison - One Life

Idiot Professional

Being a professional in a special field 

has many privileges. 

For example, 

he has a say in the special field 

while other non-professionals cannot; or 

he has a say for the special field 

while other non-professionals cannot. 

And among the many privileges, 

a certain professional treasures very much 

one particular privilege he has, namely, 

the excuse for being an idiot in all other fields. 

When such a professional is approached 

for holistic advice / work output / or whatever 

in his workplace or in his private social circles, 

he cannot have the capability to do so 

as the real reason is that

he may have good professional knowledge in his field, 

but has little or none in others, 

and without common sense. 

But he has the strong excuse for 

being an idiot in all other fields by claiming that 

he is a professional only in a special field, 

but he is not a professional in all other fields. 

The best he can do is 

to simply pass the buck to others,

or other professionals in other fields!

* * *

Leon the Professional (1994) 

(Sting - Shape of My Heart)

"Shape Of My Heart"

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He don't play for respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance [Studio version:] The hidden law of a probable outcome [Live version:] The hidden laws of a probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance
I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
He may play the Jack of diamonds
He may lay the Queen of spades
He may conceal a King in his hand
While the memory of it fades
I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart
And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
But those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear a loss
I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

Who will Rock the Boat?

When we are on a boat,

We normally will not rock the boat.

To rock the boat will put ourselves at risk because

the rocking boat may shake or turn upside down or sink!
Everyone on the rocking boat will surely
suffer from the rocking of the boat!

Who will rock the boat?
Yes, still there may be someone 
who chooses to rock the boat!

This someone must be able to get
some benefits and survive better than others 
by rocking the boat.

Or the someone wants to commit suicide 
together with all others on the same boat!
Cantonese translation is “攬住一齊死”.

Who is rocking the boat is easily discovered
but he is not stopped.
It is because all others on the boat are busy self-rescuing!

*  *  *

Queen - We will rock you 

Chinese Version 

當我們都在同一隻船上，
沒有多少人會想搭沉船的！
在船上搗亂，
船有可能因而搖晃或翻轉或下沉！

其實也同時把自己致於危難之中。
× × ×
誰會想搭沉船？
還是有的！
× × ×
那麼，誰會選擇搭沉船？
此人必然能夠從中得到一些好處！
或者到船難來時，

他因早有脫難的準備而能比別人更易脫險！
又或有此人根本想自殺，
都想和在同一條船上的其他人“攬住一齊死”！
× × ×
誰在“搗亂檔”，大家其實很容易發現，
但沒有人阻止此人這樣做，
因為在船難中，人人都忙於自救！
 

I Was Once Streets Ahead of My Competitors

When I was young,

I liked to win.

I liked to win a lot.

And luckily I always won in a game or other!

Might be when I was young,

I could choose to compete with others
only in those games in which
I had competitive advantages over others!

If I could not choose the game I like,

I did not at all compete with them
in those games I would most probably lose! 

Whenever I could win others, and always, in a game or whatever,

I liked to say " I am streets ahead of my competitors!"
Its Chinese translation is "我拋甩他們幾條街!"

* * *

When I have got older, I found that

I could not always win, in a game or other!

In a world of adults,

I cannot always only choose

to compete with others in a game in which
I had competitive advantages over others! !

I am forced to compete with others
in many games not chosen by me,
in my life, in my workplace, in my various social circles...

* * *

I find that I have not said  

"I am streets ahead of my competitors!"

for quite a long time!

__________

Rodriguez, Sixto Diaz. - Street Boy 

Street boy
You've been out too long
Street boy
Ain't you got enough sense to go home
Street boy
You're gonna end up alone
You need some love and understanding
Not that dead-end life you're planning
Street boy

You go home but you can't stay
Because something's always pulling you away
Your fast hellos and quick goodbyes
You're just a street boy
With the streetlights in your eyes
You better get yourself together
Look for something better

Street boy
You've been out too long
Street boy
Ain't you got enough sense to go home
Street boy
You're gonna end up alone
You need some love and understanding
Not that dead-end life you're planning
Street boy

Your sister says that every week
You just come home to eat and go to sleep
And you make plans you never keep
Because your mind is always in the streets
You better get yourself together
Look for something better

Street boy
You've been out too long
Street boy
Ain't you got enough sense to go home
Street boy
You're gonna end up alone
You need some love and understanding
Not that dead-end life you're planning
Street boy

There's one last word then I'll conclude
Before you pick up and put on your attitude
Bet you'll never find or ever meet
Any street boy who's ever beat the streets

Street boy...

Selective Forgetfulness vs Forced Forgetfulness

Some say that it is lucky to be able to forget!
Who says so must refer to the ability
to selectively forget those sad memories only, 
but not the happy ones~


But it is not so happy if one is 
forced to forget due to age or disease:

When one gets old, 
one tends to lose memories 
due to aging brain functions; or 

When one gets disease 
such as Alzheimer's Disease,  
one tends to lose memories 
due to damaging brain functions 
caused by the disease. 

It is sad that one will lose memories of 
both happy and sad memories.

It is even more sad to be self aware that 
memories are losing, and all attempts 
to retain them are in vain.
  

The author of "Still Alice" on why she writes this book

 

Still Alice - OST 

Still Alice - Film clips

We were once so young

Until you are becoming old,
you will never be aware that you were once so young,
oh~ so young.

And you will recall that
when you were young,

you had said some words
you will not dare to say them again;

you had taken some actions  

you will not dare to take them again; and/or

you had got engaged with some people
you will not dare to engage with them again...

Or there may be some past moments
you will not dare at all to recall them again. 

_______________________________

Mark Knopfler - 
Laughs and Jokes and Drinks and Smokes - 

Cologne Lanxess Arena - 21 June 2015

Laughs and jokes
And drinks and smokes
And no lights on the stairs
We were young, so young
And always broke
Not that we ever cared
Not that we ever cared

Well, the holes in the walls
Were such a lot
Welcome to London town
But when you’re new to it all
And you think you’re hot
You’re not planning on hanging around
People would go on their different ways
I left to start a band
A note came through the letter box
In your childlike hand

Oh, laughs and jokes
And drinks and smokes
And no lights on the stairs
We were young, so young
And always broke
Not that we ever cared
Not that we ever cared

One day I rode to where you were
The doorbell jangled a note
They buzzed me in
I climbed the stairs
In my boots and leather coat
There’s an old brass
Standing there at the top
Without her witch’s broom
It almost seemed like a knocking shop
When the girls came out of their rooms

And they all stood around
And stared at me
Two brunettes and a blonde
Then the old brass shrugged and said
We don’t know where she’s gone
Later on I picked up the ball
And I took off down the line
I suppose by then I’d realised
You’d run into hard times

Oh, laughs and jokes
And drinks and smokes
And no lights on the stairs
We were young, so young
And always broke
Not that we ever cared
Not that we ever cared

Chinese Translation 

除非你開始真的有點老了，

你是永遠不會察覺，你曾經是那麼年輕過！

那時真的那麼年輕啊！

你此時也會記起，你年輕時，

你曾經說過一些話，

現在的你已不敢再說出口;

你曾經做過一些事，現在的你已不敢再做；或及

你曾經交過一些朋友，

現在的你已不敢再聯絡他們...

又或者，

你經歷過一些往事，

現在的你根本一點都不敢再記起。。。

Arbitrary Arbitration

 Arbitration as a means of resolving

disputes or conflicts between different parties, 

its strong power of resolution 

arises from its flexibility to 

bypass the rigid application of law, 

or the tedious proceedings in court.

For matters not involving financial interest much , 

it can be muddled through lightly or exaggeratedly, 

so that it can allow the one party who wants to win the case to have a virtual feeling of winning; and 
at the same time allow the other party who also wants to win the case to have a virtual feeling of winning. 

So let both of them win!  

Chinese Translation

調解作為解決紛爭的手段，

其最強大的作用在於不必像跟法律每事驗證，

甚至對簿公堂！

尤其是不涉實際金錢利益的事，

有些可以輕輕帶過！

有些可以誇張放大！

讓祇為爭一口氣的一方，得到上風；　


也讓祇為爭一口氣的另一方，也得到上風，

成全其美吧！